And the best thing is, you can actually ride them. The game warns you about any obstruction beforehand so you don’t end up building one that isn’t even going to work. There is an upside however barring the insane little insect everything else is simple. I just get a little frenzied when I think about it. Then he’s going to pop up in the corner with an update like a newscaster on Meth. Leave me alone damn you! Why?! Why must you children continue to throw up in my park? You’re only going to make the Advisor angry. I don’t need a vomit update, yes I realize I have no bathrooms, of course the staff is overpaid, everyone’s thirsty, everyone’s hungry, I need more games, I need more entertainment. I lower the ticket price to appease him, he bitches. It would help if you could actually make a difference say by… oh, I don’t know actually doing what he tells you, but he’s never happy. Every time you need a janitor, every time you need a mechanic and every time someone is unhappy you get to hear about it from Senor irritating. The problem is that every time something bad or good happens in your park, that little bastard pops right up to tell you about it. The advisor is helpful when you start a new venture or open a screen that you have yet to see it tells you how things work. A lot of people may think this game is about building several, successful theme parks but my goal is strictly to shut that mouthy son of a bitch up. He is meant to be a tutor of sorts, popping up to tell you what your park may need or guide you through some of the more complicated aspects like setting up rides or building a coaster, but he actually exists as a motivator. He doesn’t and neither does EA sports crude mockery of him, The Advisor: a tiny cartoon-looking ant that you are going to be seeing a lot of. Well, that and a few more reasons…Īnyone who’s ever typed a header in MS word knows that quote and that annoying, mouthy little paper clip that is supposed to help you. It’s why I didn’t like Theme Park: Roller Coaster. It shouldn’t be a look into the seedy world of puke cleaning and ride repair. They’re supposed to be a virtual vacation or a wonderful fantasy where you can step into the shoes of someone you may never be. Video games are supposed to be a release from the stresses of everyday life. Theme Park Roller Coaster (PlayStation 2) review
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December 2022
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